Milani Gold Label - Textured Glitter Toppers 2014

I have to start by first throwing out the False Advertisement flag. I saw this set at CVS and was automatically intrigued when I saw "textured nail lacquer" on all the labels. You know I am a sucker for textured polishes. I know I am a sucker for textured polishes. We all know it, so let's move on, shall we?

Naturally I snatched up all six of these babies! With all the different glitter shapes and sizes, I thought they were going to be extra bad ass textures!

Well....


I was immediately disappointed after I applied one coat of the first polish and discovered it is in no way, shape, or form, a true textured polish. Yes, glitter toppers have an annoying "texture" to them, you stab yourself with stray bits without topcoat, but these are not textures like we've come to know them. They are, plain and simple, glitter toppers, that obviously have a rough grit to them if you don't apply topcoat. A textured polish means the texture is within a colored base, and bits don't fall off your nail when you skip the final sealant. These Milanis are all in a clear base. They are not extremely dense with glitter, so you wouldn't be able to get them opaque in one (sometimes two) coats like you can an actual textured polish.

End of story, they are NOT textured polishes, and therefore should not be marketed as such, causing me to skip research, and waste $30. I use "waste" loosely. They aren't ugly by any means. But they are nowhere near what I thought I was buying, so I am irritated with Milani! -.-

Oh and while I'm complaining, these all take for.ever. to dry!

On to swatches? Okay, I'm done ranting.

Up first, the two least glitter-dense: Sugar Rush and Sugar High.

I am so annoyed with these damn polishes that I didn't even bother to give them each their own, solo swatches. Sugar High (one coat with tons of dabbing otherwise it clumped and pulled off) is on my index and middle fingers over Revlon Midnight, and Sugar Rush is over China Glaze Lemon Fizz on my ring finger and pinky. And ya know what? I didn't even put any topcoat on over my swatches. After all, they don't need topcoat, they're textured. Two coats of each glitter shown.

You mean the clear base that these are in bubble like crazy even when you let all the layers dry individually?! No way! I can't imagine that there'd be another horrid trait to these.

Oh and look at that! Not only did the glitters clump like a mother, they popped off in places within less than 12 hours! Go figure.

I don't even care anymore. Let's just blow through the other four, shall we?

Index: Sugar Coated 

Middle: Sugar Burst
Ring: Sugar Cane
Pinky: Sugar Rim

Three coats of each glitter shown over a bare nail.

I love the green color of this, it is really pretty; but it isn't textured.

Same as previous. Really pretty, but I'd prefer a true textured finish.

Sugar Cane? *BARF* That purple string glitter is absolutely horrendous!!! Besides being ugly, it refuses to lay flat, and is so hard to work with! But I do love the big white hexes!

This is actually one of my favorites. If it were sponged for better density and opacity, with topcoat, I think I'd really love this one! The colors in it look so neat together and it just screams Autumn to me! But guess what? It isn't textured.

Overall, it really irks me that this collection is advertised as textured because it is not. If they had just flat out told the truth and marketed them as glitter toppers, it wouldn't be so bad. The colors aren't all hideous, and of course I'll wear at least five of them, but we are not friends right now, Milani. Get your shit straight!

I think incorrect naming must be one of my pet peeves. You should hear me rant about ombres vs. gradients! Oh boy! That's another story for another day though! :)